The following was composed by Team Traditional member Hayes Permar:

'Twas the day before Ryder Cup and all through Wake County
Old Media members were bidding up TheDevilWolf's bounty
Cash for beating him once, more for beating him all
And a top prize for the man who hits him with a ball
Pence was game-simming singles, whatever that means
Purdy was ironing his shorts that are jeans
Shane Ryan was spamming the whole crew with email
While Jamie O' Grady (wait, that a male or a female?)
Randy Brownlow was amped up, a willing replacement
For Brinson (this year had to stay in Mom's basement)
Barbour picked us to win but we know he's just trying
To not sound like a homer (dude, nobody's buying)
There was Westney and Taylor, but Im not giving nerd love
To 2 bloggers from Charlotte that no one has heard of
Lauren was stuck in the fits of a laugh
From learning that part of the golf club's the "shaft"
And Mike in his sweatpants, and I in all pink
Had just settled in for a pre-tourney drink
We were doing some sampling--we might mix it up
And this year drink Franzia from the Victory Cup
Traditional Media: Team Good-Looking, Team Fame
We exalted our team as we called them by name
On Armstrong, on Thomas, Andrew Carter and Luke,
On Daly--out to prove that last year was no fluke
On Alverson, Patterson, on Chantel and Schramm
(you guys get comp days for this? I know that I am)
To Knights Play, the Ryder Cup finally is here
Time to play lots of golf and guzzle some....water. Lots of water.
Back-to-back. Old Media. We run this town.


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